Thoughts from the War Room

2011 is starting out to be a pretty awesome year!  Hundreds of birds falling out of the sky, thousands of fish turning up dead in rivers, psycho-loner shootings, major snow storms blanketing most the nation, gigantic cyclones crashing into Australia and massive public uprisings against oppressive governments. And that's just January!

For the past few days I've been hunkered down in my War Room, monitoring the news and keeping a close eye on the situation over in Egypt.  The weather really sucks! 

Btw, War Room is code for "parents basement" : (

Man, I love a good uprising. The footage of these riots is amazing! People are running around all wild and crazy, throwing rocks and hurling molotov cocktails. Screaming and chanting going on, dudes are breaking windows and burning shit. There's random gun fire. It all makes for some pretty good TV.  I especially love watching these dummy news reporters getting their asses kicked when they try to report from inside some unruly crowd.  These people have no food, no job and live off $2 a day, they don't give a fuck about no Anderson Cooper.  Is it too late to send Sean Hannity over there??

Plan "B" fully supports the people of Egypt and their rioting ways.  Seeing oppressed people rise up and fight against their government makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Power to the people!  What troubles me is that social unrest is becoming a common trend in many countries across the globe and could be heading our way.  I'd be down to riot for a few different causes. You know, anti-NWO shit or some UFO disclosure just to name a few.  When I say I'm down to riot, I mean I'd attend to a riot. I'm not trying to be the dude on the front line breaking the law but i'll be the dude 50 people back cheering that guy on!  "Yea! Burn that fucker down!!!  Yo, kick that window bro! kick that shit!!! Kick it!! Yeaaaaa!"   I just wanna be a mob guy that's all.

What would it take for you to riot????  What an interesting question!

During the riots in Cairo, the Egyptian government shut down the Internet as a way to curb protesters from gathering.  That only made the people madder.  That would make me mad too!  I love the Internet! Here in America, senators are working on legislation that would give the President power to shut down the Internet.  A so-called Internet "kill switch".   Of course, it would only be used in the event of a national emergency blah blah blah blah.

I think people would riot if the government shut down the Internet in America.  Yea, you wouldn't be able to communicate.  Yea, you couldn't get any information. Yea, yea, yea. None of that matters.  Do you know how many people are addicted to Internet porn?? I'm not sure of the exact number but I can assure you it's a lot!  These aren't the type of people you want to agitate either.  They're already on the edge. Theres a thin line that keeps single, lonely men from plunging into the deep abyss of insanity and that thin line is Internet porn.  Take that away and you'll have chaos.  If a man can't bust a nut he's gonna find another way to release his tension.  9 times out of 10 that means something is gonna get fucked up.

People in America need to start rioting over shit. We need to start flipping cars.  The world is spinning out of control and its like nobody can be bothered.  OH, SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU DURING TEEN MOM YOU WASTE OF LIFE!! The Egyptian youth population is leading political protests to change their government.  China's youth is number 1 in reading, math and science.  What's Americas youth good at?? Text messaging??  Cyber bullying other kids to the point of suicide??   American kids are a bunch of uninformed, ignorant, over sexed, over privileged, drugged out, wimps!   Time to step our game up America.   

2010 Year in Review

Hey gang!  This is gonna be the final blog post of 2010!  Don't worry, Plan "B" will "B" back in the new year with plenty of hard hitting blogs that'll warm your heart and stimulate your mind!

Now that 2010 is almost over, lets do a the PLAN "B" YEAR IN REVIEW!

THE BLOG:

I think it's been a pretty good year for the Plan "B" blogspot!  We picked up a lot of new readers. We put out a lot of thought provoking material mixed in with some hilarious comedic commentary and we caused a lot of controversy.  Remember the 'playing with fiya' video I put out???  That was pretty cool right??   I know I promised to put out more videos but....you know how that goes...   I think the addition of the Plan "B" fish tank was a major success!  If you don't wanna read the blogs at least feed the fish.  Oh! Oh! Oh! Remember my battle against the Craig Kilborn show???  That was a big hit over the summer.  FYI Kilborn has not been seen or heard from since!  Boom!  The best/most important thing about the blogspot is the participation of the readers!  I enjoy hearing what my readers think about certain topics and I love to see the vote counter go higher and higher.  Stay engaged and always voice your opinion, it makes things more fun for everyone!  Maybe I'll come back with a new layout in 2011???  Ya never knowwwwwww....

COMEDY:

For me, 2010 was a year riddled in unemployment, credit card debit, suicidal talk, video games, physical fitness and hand fucking.   It's scary how accurate that sentence is.  Unfortunately as the year progressed I found myself doing less and less comedy.  From January til about July I was HOT on the open mic scene, getting up a lot and doing well but then things just kind of stopped.  Issues in my personal life were beating me down and my desire to get on stage dwindled.  It got to the point where comedy was costing me more then it was giving me.  I went from being a comedic rebel to being a rebel without a joke.  Being a comedian is like being a drug addict, I may give it up here and there from time to time but the shit keeps calling me and calling me and calling me (Pookie: New Jack City)

5 FAVORITES OF 2010:

1) Antoine Dodson, "Bed Intruder Song":  This might be the funniest thing I've seen in 2010.  Only in a sick society like ours can a candid interview about a potential rape be transformed into a hilariously catchy tune! "Homeboy, Homeboy, Ho-Ho-Home Boy!"  You can't help but sing it!  The beat is hot and Antoine Dodson nails the flamboyant ghetto dweller stereotype perfectly! What more could you ask for??? The video currently got 58 million views on youtube! Thats ridiculous!

2) Inception: This was by far the hottest movie to come out in 2010.  I saw it in the theater twice and 3 times on dvd, it's pretty complicated so you're gonna need multiple watches to really appreciate it.  The combination of Christopher Nolan and Leonardo Dicaprio is gold if you ask me and that's exactly what you get when you see this flick.

3) Call of Duty: Black Ops:  I'm a big call of duty fan and was excited for the release of Black Ops.  It's the highest selling video game in history raking in  $1 Billion!  Super Mario can get the ballzack! All C.O.D games are fun to play but I personally like the Modern Warfare games a little better.... not to say that Black Ops isnt fresh, its a really good game and fun!  I'm currently ranked at a 45 and my go to gun right now is the AK47 with dual mags, semtex, a claymore and nerve gas.  WHAT!

4) Golf:  Plan "B" is big into golf!  I played a lot of golf in 2010 and really stepped my game up.  My final round of the season I shot a personal best of 85!  I'll be looking to shoot in the 80's consistently in 2011 so watch out!  During the course of the golfing season I played at 8 different courses throughout NY.  Golf isn't cheap but if you pay with a credit card you can trick yourself into thinking it was free, at least that's what I do.

5) Chocolate Cherrios:  People are raving about the Ipad being the best invention of 2010 but my vote goes to Chocolate Cherrios.  A new twist on an old favorite, Chocolate Cherrios dominated my mornings for months.  A hearty bowl of chocolate cherrios is a great way to start your day but this cereal is more then just a morning delight, it can also be used to curb those late night cravings as well.   Talk about versatility!  2010 saw an explosion of multi-flavored cherrios but the Chocolate ones were hands down the best.

5 THINGS IN 2010 I DIDNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT:

1) The Chilean Miners:  I didn't give a fuck about these morons trapped in a hole.  It's pretty much a given that miners are gonna get trapped underground, yet for some reason this was a big deal.  People were treating these guys like they discovered the cure for AIDS while they were down there.  I think it's a bigger story if a group of miner's doesn't get trapped underground.

2) The World Cup:  ZZZZZZZZ!  oh, Angola is playing Norway?!?  ZZZZZZZZ!  I loved seeing all of these people on facebook pretending to be 'into' soccer w their gay status updates.  Gimme a break!  All that did was prove to me that there's a lot of dick riding trend whores out there.  See you hardcore soccer fans in another 4 years.

3) Jersey Shore:  I'm amazed at the number of adults who watch this show.  I get why kids would watch this train wreck but to see grown men talking about 'GTL' makes me wanna puke! At first the show was meant to mock the type of people who went to the Jersey Shore, now it idolizes it.   If you think watching a bunch of grease balls get drunk and trade STD's is good TV then you're a MORON!

4) Brett Farvre : This guy must have some very incriminating pictures of the person who runs ESPN because he's constantly being talked about.  I'm tired of hearing about this prick!  Is he playing?? Is he retiring?? He's retired!  He's back!  He's texting pics of his cock!  WHO CARES!  Every sunday I pray for him to die...on or off the field, doesn't matter.

5) Royal Wedding:  This is America buddy! I don't give a good god damn about no stuffy-ass british royals and I damn sure don't care if one of those buck tooth goons gets engaged! Fuck em!  Keep that news on british tv bro, we dont wanna see that over here.  American news outlets should stick to covering American royalty like the Karadashians and the Jersey Shore gang.

So what's in store for 2011???  I don't really know, but we are moving closer and closer to 2012 and that kinda makes me nervous.  We're entering into the end times and people need to start getting prepared.  Have a happy new year Plan "B" fans and I'll see you in 2011.  Plan "B" out!

Dont Touch My Junk

Plan B here wishing all my loyal readers a happy and healthy Thanksgiving holiday!  I hope you all eat until your bellies are full but don't forget to mix in some physical fitness into your lives as well, stop being a fat fuck and go work out!

I'm a big fan on Thanksgiving but it feels like Christmas is making Thanksgiving its bitch.   Christmas stays intruding on Thanksgiving more and more each year and I find it to be a bit annoying.  Fall back Christmas!  You get the entire month of December for people to fawn over you, Thanksgiving gets 1 day...let em live!

Thanksgiving time is one of the busiest travel days of the year, which brings me to the point of this blog.  BODY SCANNERS!!  Allow me to rant about the whole TSA body scanner/ pat down situation going on in a majority of airports around the nation because I know that's what you like.

A common response I often hear from people when talking about body scanner/ pat downs sounds a little something like this, "ah, who cares what they do as long as I'm safe."   Safe???  Right! If you find yourself in a conversation with someone about this topic and they regurgitate that same sentence to you, then you have Plan B's permission to punch that person in the face.

First off, there's NOTHING safe about walking thru the body scanner, they're basically X-ray machines.  If you've ever had an X-ray in the past for a broken bone, or at the dentist or whatever,  you'll remember someone putting a giant lead vest over your body.  That vest is meant to protect you from the harmful radiation that gets omitted from the X-ray machine for a test that lasts about 2 seconds, no big deal.  But, when you enter a body scanner machine your wearing NO lead vest for protection and they make you stand there for 15 seconds while they blast your body with deadly radiation. Is that something you want to expose yourself to??   Guys, think about your balls getting zapped with X-rays for 15 seconds and tell me that body scanners are safe.

Ok, so you dont wanna go through the body scanner....smart call.  But what's your next option?  Well, you can 'opt out' of the body scan but that means you're going to have to go through a full body enhanced pat down from a TSA agent.  After all, YOU'RE a terrorist!  They'll reach down your pants and get all up in your crotchal region, they'll feel your titties with an open palm and they'll do it in front everyone in the airport... that is, unless you want to take it to a "private room" in which case you get a 3 song pat down.  Remember, there's no sex in the pat down room.

Here's a picture of what a body scanner image looks like.



Pretty detailed ey???  A lot different from those murky ones they show on TV.   I'm not mad at this picture because there's titties in it and boy do I love titts!  Imagine if this was a picture of your wife, or your sister or your daughter... safety first right??  Let's say, for arguments sake, that your 15 year old daughter has a body scan image similar to the picture above minus the weapons but with the same set of perky breasts... wouldn't storing images of her naked body be considered as child pornography???   Think about that...

Nevermind the fact that the scanners and pat downs are a breach of our 4th amendment rights.  The 4th Amendment guards against unreasonable searches and seizures.  The amendment specifically also requires search and arrest warrants be judicially sanctioned and supported by probable cause.  What probably cause does the TSA have for patting down 7 year olds??   If these security measures were put in place to 'keep us safe from terrorists' then why not just search suspicious people with Arabic backgrounds??  Well,  you cant do that because then ultra-liberal dooshbags will call you a racist.  So instead of search would-be terrorists the TSA will consider EVERYONE as a potential terrorist.  Gotta be fair right???  


Terrorism!  Ahhh!  Keep us safe from terrorists!!!  That's the main reason why were subject to these intrusive security measures because terrorists want to blow you up!  Terrorism is a great way to scare people into submission.  Like that scary "Christmas Day Bomber".  Lots of TV talking heads use him as an example of why we need body scanners, after all, he had explosives in his underpants!  It's not like the bombers father warned the CIA and other government agencies about his crazy son 2 weeks prior to his arrest.  Ignore the fact his name was on a terror 'watch list' but wasnt added to the 'no fly' list.  Sure, he passed through multiple checkpoints without ID and some how got on an international flight with no passport but who hasnt done that right???   We need some body scanners right Michael Chertoff??????



If you dont think there's anything wrong with this blatant intrusion of rights and privacy then I feel bad for you... this isn't a 'conspiracy theory' this is really happening!  I'm for security at the airport because there's obvious dangers but I think metal detectors were working just fine.   Everyday Americans are giving up freedoms and privacy under the guise of being kept safe from terrorism.  It's all bullshit.  Where does it end???  We give and inch, they take a foot...  where does it end????

TV Terrorism

My TV is under attack!  

From corporate greed to political correctness, everyday people are being held prisoner by their televisions!   

Like most Americans,  I'm glued to my 42 inch flat screen HD TV on a daily basis.  If you're not operating with a flat screen HD TV by now you're kinda pathetic, lets be honest...  TV is awesome! I enjoy watching movies from all genres, I keep up with a few weekly TV shows (not Jersey Shore) and I like watching sports...mainly my beloved Yankees, who are going in to a crucial game 6 of the ALCS tonight against the Texas Rangers.  GO YANKS!

Speaking of the baseball playoffs, more then 3 million people in the north east wont be able to see this years World Series because cable provider Cablevision is in millionaire fight with Fox News Corps.  As of last week Cablevision stopped providing Tri-state area homes with all Fox media channels, except Fox News.  This is the second time within a year that Cablevision has had a contract dispute with a major media outlet.  Remember when they pulled ABC off the air during the 2010 Academy Awards?  For weeks Cablevision threatened to take ABC 7 off the air if they didnt get the contract what they wanted.  After much deliberation Cablevision decided to pull the plug on ABC during it's highest rated program leaving millions of customers outraged.   This is, what I like to call, TV Terrorism!  Cablevision is holding the people hostage until their demands for millions are met and if these demands aren't met then they'll be forced to take drastic measures.  On some Hans Gruber shit! 

Look, I didn't really care when Cablevision took ABC off the air because honestly, who watches ABC??  But this if Fox were talking about!  Fox airs all my favorite shows and plays a crucial role in my life from 6:30 to 8:00!!   Did Craig Kilborn become president of Cablevision in order to enact some diabolical scheme against me and my coveted TV time slot????  Fuck off Cablevision!

It gets worse!

24 hr cable news channels are the biggest TV Terrorists out there.  Gone are the days of Walter Cronkite and objective journalism.   Today's news media uses fear and the distortion of facts to drive home their political points of view.  Between MSNBC, CNN, and FOX News, Americans are being bombarded with a steady flow of slanted, biased information meant to confuse and divide people.

Take the Juan Williams situation.  Juan Williams is a journalist who was fired from his position at NPR (National Public Radio)  over comments he made about muslims on the Bill O'Reilly Show.   Here's the clip.



To me, that statement was in no way offensive or a fireable offense

Here's what the head of NPR had to say about this...


What??  This lady is bugging!  Juan Williams needs to see a psychiatrist because of this???  This woman really comes off as a typical liberal elitist...  The worst thing about George W Bush was that he made ALL liberal democrats think that they could be a better president then he was.  To me, liberal democrats think they're the smartest, most eloquent people around and if you disagree with them, well you're just not smart enough to understand the issue.  Dont get me wrong, Republicans are dicks too just in a different way.

The back story on why Juan Williams was fired was because NPR didn't like his involvement with the Fox New Channel, more specifically Bill O'Reilly.  NPR is liberal and FOX is conservative.  The liberal media have been going to war with Fox News for a long time and the American people are getting caught in the cross fire.  Understand that when you watch any of the 3 major cable news outlets you are being feed a certain political and social agenda, not fair and balanced news.

I can understand the vitriol against Fox, their reporting is biased, their anchors are jerks and they're always in the middle of some controversy.  Bill O'Reilly created a stir this week when he appeared on the brain draining, gossip show The View when he said "Muslims killed us on 9/11".  Whoopi and Joy got all upset over his use of the word "Muslims" and stormed off the stage that in no way seemed like it was rehearsed.  Here's the clip.



I dont often defend Bill O'Reilly but he is technically right.  The hijackers on 9/11 were Muslim men but if you really wanna get technical Bill why don't you mention that 15 of the 19 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia yet we invade Iraq?  I'm just sayin....

The firing of Juan Williams is more then a story about a dude who lost his job unfairly, its about corporate media giants trying to control and dictate what is and what is not acceptable speech.  Everyone is a fan of free speech when they agree on whats being said but it the ugly, hate filled speech that people disagree with that needs to be protected as well.  Unfortunately, political correctness has run amuck in America today and is mostly due hyper sensitivity over race.  Now a days it seems like you cant criticize anyone without being called a racist.  Apparently "muslim" is the new "N word".   If you say it in public you have to mutter it under your breath after looking over your shoulder.

Plan "B" is a lover of free speech that's why I encourage my readers to comment on everything I write.  Voice your opinion!

WORDS ARE POWER! THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THEN THE SWORD!!!  FUCK POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AND SPEAK YOUR MIND!!!!

WTF????

Check out this weird video of a transit cop going over board on some drunk loud mouth.

Paper Tossing privacy right out the window!

I decided to step up my cell phone game this past rainy Monday from a Blackberry Curve to a Droid 2. Much love to the Blackberry for being a solid and reliable cell phone but it just wasn't getting the job done anymore.  It's business...nothing personal.  That's how this cell phone game works.  It's a young mans game.  Every 2 years it's, in with the new and out with the old.  No time to form emotional attachments.  To be honest, the bbm just wasn't cutting it no more.  I mean, it was a fun gimmick.  I have to admit, I got into it.  "yo, what's your pin!? haha! word!" It was cool!  But as time wore on the bbm's were often delayed or never received at all, causing nothing but a bout of frustration for the Plan.  An executive decision was made and you were put out to pasture. 

So in comes the Droid! Droid 2 to be exact!  Probably the worst thing a paranoid, government hating, conspiracy theorist could purchase.  I might as well have an RFID chip put in the back of my neck!  I could easily be tracked and monitored with this phone... not that its hard to find me or I ever go any where... I'm just saying, this phone isnt prone toward privacy.

I had my mind made up that I was getting the phone but became leery of it when the salesmen told me I HAD to sign up for a Gmail account for the phone to work.  Gmail is of course, Google mail.  Google is a well know NSA front who monitor, collect, store, and categorize all the things and phrases people  search on the internet.  Then do god knows what with that information.  Look it up.

Another thing that caught my attention was during the initial set up of the phone.  I was given an option to allow the phones GPS to be active at all times, I declined the option.  But, in smaller print underneath this option was a short disclaimer saying that the GPS would always be active unless deactivated at this point in the phone setup. I chose to deactivate.  To me, it was like they were trying to trick people into having the GPS active all the time unless you were willing to read the fine print.  At the time it seemed like I was sacrificing a lot of privacy so I can play Paper Toss.

I dont know, maybe I'm bugging but every time I go to my local Verizon store it's always flooded with Hasidic Jews!  And they're always complaining about something... the phones broken, the bill wasn't right, these curls make me look ridiculous, etc.  They roll deep too in a Club Wagon van!  If one person needs something from the outside the whole Colony goes out with them.  Weird people....

I gotta say though, I'm loving the Droid so far.  I was a bit sour on touch-screen cell phones from my past experience with the Samsung Glyde.  Hands down WORST CELL PHONE EVER.  The touch-screen technology just wasn't ready yet.  But today in 2010 the Droid got it poppn! Suck it Iphone!  Some people my say that the idea of having such a phone, when all I do is talk about the NWO spying on people seems a bit hypocritical.  Well Jimmy cracked corn and I dont care!  If the NWO wanted to find me, they'd find me, I could never go completely off the grid, so why not enjoy some of the perks of this digital age?   Speaking of which, I'm gonna go watch a video of an ebony teen get banged in the back of a moving car.  Plan "B" out!