Tiger Tiger Woods Ya'll

Seems like everyone is talking about this whole Tiger Woods situation.  The mass media cream their pants over a story like this.  High profile athlete in mysterious car crash = ratings! Details at this point are sketchy which gives all news outlets plenty of time to gossip and speculate, which means I have to sit around all day and watch it.  I mean, I don't HAVE to but I don't have a job so what else am I gonna do?

Plan "B" isn't one to speculate but Tiger's story has more holes in it then a golf course.  ZING!

According to TMZ, Tiger and his wife got into a heated conversation over allegations that he'd been cheating on her.  SHOCKING!  Like any person who finds out such news of spousal infidelity, she got crazy and tried getting physical on him.  Tiger attempted to leave the scene when she attacked his car with a golf club.  He got all panicky and distracted causing him to crash into a fire hydrant and a tree. To me, that all seems feasible!  Just come out and admit it Tiger, Plan "B" won't judge you.  I play golf and I know how hard a sport it really is and how good you really are.  This will only help my already positive opinion of you.

Here's a few questions I've been asking myself.  1)Why would any high profile professional athlete EVER get married!?  And 2) Why would any woman who marries a high profile professional athlete expect to NOT get cheated on??

I hate to see a guy like Tiger Woods get married because he's setting himself up for a situation like this.  If you're a professional athlete that means you're constantly traveling around the country or the world.  If you're single, that allows you the perfect opportunity to bang multiple chicks in multiple cities.  It's every mans dream! Women can't get too clingy because, 'hey babe, going on the road for a few weeks I'll call ya when we come back to town.'  It's a flawless excuse!  And it works for a lot of ball players!

When you get married and you cheat you're putting yourself in a situation where you have to cover all your bases before you skip town.  Scorned women hungry for fame and fortune will set your ass up for extortion or some kind of public embarrassment because they know you got a wife at home and the last thing you want is for her to find out that you've been getting your balls licked when you were playing in the Dubai Classic.  That's leverage dawg!

If you want to get married that's fine!  But do it when your career is over and you're able to stay at home on a more consistent basis.  That way, you can avoid the temptations of fat ass'd, gold diggin vixens who will literally throw themselves at you!

Now, on to Tiger's wife.  She's a moron for thinking he's not gonna cheat on her.  If science has taught us anything it's that women are attracted to money and power.  Why do you think Plan "B" isn't married???  Cuz I don't got either!  

What the hell is her problem any ways??  If she gets a divorce she's banking half a BILLION dollars!  Take a page out of A-Rod's ex-wife's book.  She's doing just fine.  Take it to the lawyers and get your half of all that money you didn't earn!

Since the dawn of time man has always been a victim of pussy.  It happened to Adam in the garden of Eden.  It's what turned Anikin Skywalker into Darth Vador.  It made Chris Brown into a woman beater and it took OJ Simpson from hero to felon.  And the list goes on and on...  Men want it and women got it, but there's always a price to pay for it.

Welcome!!!

Hello world!!  Welcome to the first installment of the BRAND NEW blogspot entitled Plan "B"!!

I am Plan "B".

In short, I am a NYC based standup comedian who expresses his opinion on a wide range of topics with a sarcastic, edgy wit.  You can see me perform comedy at a variety of venus based in and around NYC, but enough about that...

As a reader of this blog you can expect nothing but the raw, honest TRUTH.  Plan "B" bites his tongue for NO ONE!!  Depending what mood I'm in, you might read things about my personal life or my point of view on certain pop culture topics or most importantly, my hatred for the New World Order and other government conspiracies.  All in all, this will be a good place for you to kill some time when you're being lazy at work.

Once things start getting rolling here @ the "B" readers will find some interactive polls and other fun things to participate in! So stay tuned!! Blog comments are always welcome and I encourage readers to express their thoughts and opinions on whatever it is I'm talking about, so don't "B" shy!

In closing I'd like to welcome you all to Plan "B" and keep checking the page on a frequent basis cuz I'll be updating often.  Tell your friends!!!

And remember, when the first option fails....there's always PLAN "B"