Friday, October 1, 2010
WTF????
These stupid globalists are pushing their agenda HARD CORE!!! Join the climate change gang or die?? Fuck outta here
Monday, September 20, 2010
Eat, Drink, Dance, Ticket
Hey everybody! Plan "B" back on the blogging tip after a whirlwind weekend of wedding wackiness!
My single friends are dropping faster then Obama's approval rating, leaving Plan "B" on that weird island of unmarried 30 somethings. Won't someone come and save me!!
Sunday morning concluded the end of my 2010 wedding season and my wallet couldn't be happier! Weddings are a lot of fun but they're really expensive for everyone involved. Personally, I make it a habit of giving cash as my gift, which I'm starting to rethink. I noticed a bunch people bringing items from off the registry which is a good way to give gift without coming off like a cheap skate. Smart play tight wads!
I went to 3 weddings this year, all within one week. All of them were fun and they each had they're own highlights according to me. One was a good dancing wedding, one was a big drinking wedding and one was a great food wedding. All were a no pussy wedding but hey...what can ya do. I guess girls arent interested in mysterious guys who wear a red bandanas over their face and talk about global government. Your loss ladies 'cuz I love to cuddle!
Lemme just say that while hotel rooms have become more and more elegant and home-like, the beds completely suck! First off, the comforters are way too heavy! They feel like 10 pound lead jackets and I always end of throwing them off the bed. Pillows can be a hit or miss depending on where you're staying. The pillows I was given at a NJ Sheraton were AWFUL! They were the super soft pillows that kinda wrap around your head when you lay down, you know? ....kinda like sitting in a bean bag. It's a bean bag for your head. Those suck! I'm a firm pillow man and I'm not gonna apologize for that. But wouldn't it make sense to provide guests with 2 soft pillows and 2 firm pillows?? NJ sheraton gave out 4 bean bag pillows and I was so annoyed!
Finally, Plan "B" would like to extend a major FUCK YOU shout out to the dooshbag NJ police officer who pulled me over for a "cell phone while driving" violation. Plan "B" getting pulled over by police??? Noooo! What a surprise! Can I just say... New Jersey is just a stupid state in general. The people are notoriously bad drivers and they're highway systems are retarded. For example, you have to make a right hand turn if you want to go left....what?!?
Anyways, I got lost on my way down to the final wedding of the season and placed a call to a useless friend for some help. He told me to pull over at a gas station and ask for directions. What great advice! As I'm about to hang up I drive past this cop who clearly sees me on the phone. We made eye contact and all. I quickly pull into the nearest gas station and get out of my car to ask for directions from the attendant when Mr. Hero Police man comes zooming up to my ride. I can not express the lack of respect I have for suburban police officers from wealthy towns who do nothing all day but harass motorists for petty moving violations and who do it with tough guy attitudes. I tried to explain to this meat head cop that I was lost and needed directions but my words fell on deaf ears. He wouldn't even answer any question I had until he wrote up my ticket. When he handed me my $130 bill he was ready to listen to my problem but that only irritated me so I started to mouth off at him a bit. "You're seriously gonna give me a ticket!?" "Aren't cops supposed to help people??" He didn't care much for my comments and began to lecture me on the law and cell phone safety. Like cops NEVER talk on their cell phone while driving. No, no, no... they're ABOVE the law! Piece of shit... No matter what people may tell you, there's no getting out of a ticket...unless you're woman who A) can cry on cue or B) have nice tits. Other then that you're screwed. Tickets equal revenue for cops and the more the generate the more they get.
Much respect to police officers in urban war zones who fight real crime on a daily basis. For the ones who sit in state of the art cruisers, making 6 figures a year ticketing soccer moms in mini vans for going 60 in a 55. GET A LIFE YOU NAPOLEON COMPLEX HAVING, NO FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL, FAKE TOUGH GUY, POWER ABUSING, TAX PAYER MONEY DRAINING JERKS! I hope your radar gun gives you cancer!
Grr! Plan "B" out!
My single friends are dropping faster then Obama's approval rating, leaving Plan "B" on that weird island of unmarried 30 somethings. Won't someone come and save me!!
Sunday morning concluded the end of my 2010 wedding season and my wallet couldn't be happier! Weddings are a lot of fun but they're really expensive for everyone involved. Personally, I make it a habit of giving cash as my gift, which I'm starting to rethink. I noticed a bunch people bringing items from off the registry which is a good way to give gift without coming off like a cheap skate. Smart play tight wads!
I went to 3 weddings this year, all within one week. All of them were fun and they each had they're own highlights according to me. One was a good dancing wedding, one was a big drinking wedding and one was a great food wedding. All were a no pussy wedding but hey...what can ya do. I guess girls arent interested in mysterious guys who wear a red bandanas over their face and talk about global government. Your loss ladies 'cuz I love to cuddle!
Lemme just say that while hotel rooms have become more and more elegant and home-like, the beds completely suck! First off, the comforters are way too heavy! They feel like 10 pound lead jackets and I always end of throwing them off the bed. Pillows can be a hit or miss depending on where you're staying. The pillows I was given at a NJ Sheraton were AWFUL! They were the super soft pillows that kinda wrap around your head when you lay down, you know? ....kinda like sitting in a bean bag. It's a bean bag for your head. Those suck! I'm a firm pillow man and I'm not gonna apologize for that. But wouldn't it make sense to provide guests with 2 soft pillows and 2 firm pillows?? NJ sheraton gave out 4 bean bag pillows and I was so annoyed!
Finally, Plan "B" would like to extend a major FUCK YOU shout out to the dooshbag NJ police officer who pulled me over for a "cell phone while driving" violation. Plan "B" getting pulled over by police??? Noooo! What a surprise! Can I just say... New Jersey is just a stupid state in general. The people are notoriously bad drivers and they're highway systems are retarded. For example, you have to make a right hand turn if you want to go left....what?!?
Anyways, I got lost on my way down to the final wedding of the season and placed a call to a useless friend for some help. He told me to pull over at a gas station and ask for directions. What great advice! As I'm about to hang up I drive past this cop who clearly sees me on the phone. We made eye contact and all. I quickly pull into the nearest gas station and get out of my car to ask for directions from the attendant when Mr. Hero Police man comes zooming up to my ride. I can not express the lack of respect I have for suburban police officers from wealthy towns who do nothing all day but harass motorists for petty moving violations and who do it with tough guy attitudes. I tried to explain to this meat head cop that I was lost and needed directions but my words fell on deaf ears. He wouldn't even answer any question I had until he wrote up my ticket. When he handed me my $130 bill he was ready to listen to my problem but that only irritated me so I started to mouth off at him a bit. "You're seriously gonna give me a ticket!?" "Aren't cops supposed to help people??" He didn't care much for my comments and began to lecture me on the law and cell phone safety. Like cops NEVER talk on their cell phone while driving. No, no, no... they're ABOVE the law! Piece of shit... No matter what people may tell you, there's no getting out of a ticket...unless you're woman who A) can cry on cue or B) have nice tits. Other then that you're screwed. Tickets equal revenue for cops and the more the generate the more they get.
Much respect to police officers in urban war zones who fight real crime on a daily basis. For the ones who sit in state of the art cruisers, making 6 figures a year ticketing soccer moms in mini vans for going 60 in a 55. GET A LIFE YOU NAPOLEON COMPLEX HAVING, NO FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL, FAKE TOUGH GUY, POWER ABUSING, TAX PAYER MONEY DRAINING JERKS! I hope your radar gun gives you cancer!
Grr! Plan "B" out!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Im ready...R U??????
Hellooooooo!
Ya know... there's nothing better then waking up in the morning, turning on your computer and seeing the featured story on Yahoo news titled: "Mass Extinction Event: Earth on Verge of Huge Reset?" Sweet! Doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside??? What a great way to start the day! Talk about social conditioning. TGIF??
News like this scares the shit out of me! Look...I don't know whats gonna happen in the future but I'm guessing its gonna be something really bad and scary. So I decided to get off my ass and start getting prepared! The first thing I decided to do is start a survival kit. It's nothing fancy, just some basic medical supplies. I also added a magnesium fire starter to the kit which was also stolen from a local Sports Authority. I'll continue to add on to my survival kit when ever I see something worth stealing but it's a start and I recommend you do the same!
Ok, so I got me a little survival kit...nice. But I need some protection. I'm talking fire arms! Guns, Gats, Pistols, Burners, Heat, Rachette, Tool etc. 31 years on this earth and I never fired a gun. If I'm survive in a post apocalyptic world I need to be a skilled shooter...or at the very least, fire a real gun once.
The first thing I learned is that real guns are LOUD! I mean, we all wore headphones to muffle the noise but that shit was still loud! I don't understand how do people get away with shooting someone else when the blast of a gun is that loud?? If I'm a criminal, I'm investing in a silencer. Wordup.
All of the guns we fired had major kick backs, it was something I was prepared for but some were more powerful then others. I don't remember the types of guns I was shooting but this one hunting rifle beat the shit out of me! Each shot was like getting kicked in the shoulder by a horse 1000 times. It was really uncomfortable.
The bullets we were shooting were pretty sick but they were a pain in the ass to load. I was terrible at it. By the time I loaded 3 bullets into a clip, my buddy had a full one ready to go. I told him he could be my personal bullet loader. If this had been a war like situation I'd probably end up dead.
can you imagine having a bunch of these lodged in your chest or stomach???
Ultimately, I was very disappointed in my shooting accuracy but this was my first time ever shooting a gun so I'll give myself a pass. It's not like shooting a gun on TV... and no I didn't bust off 'sideways'. You can't just point and click 'cuz you'll never hit anything. You'll look Harry from Dumb and Dumber when he tries to save Llyod from the kidnapper, shooting everything in the hotel room except the bad guy. "How come I didn't get a gun??" I telling you the kickback is intense. You gotta readjust after each shot if you want to kill someone. It's all about breath control.
Get prepared!
Ya know... there's nothing better then waking up in the morning, turning on your computer and seeing the featured story on Yahoo news titled: "Mass Extinction Event: Earth on Verge of Huge Reset?" Sweet! Doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside??? What a great way to start the day! Talk about social conditioning. TGIF??
News like this scares the shit out of me! Look...I don't know whats gonna happen in the future but I'm guessing its gonna be something really bad and scary. So I decided to get off my ass and start getting prepared! The first thing I decided to do is start a survival kit. It's nothing fancy, just some basic medical supplies. I also added a magnesium fire starter to the kit which was also stolen from a local Sports Authority. I'll continue to add on to my survival kit when ever I see something worth stealing but it's a start and I recommend you do the same!
Ok, so I got me a little survival kit...nice. But I need some protection. I'm talking fire arms! Guns, Gats, Pistols, Burners, Heat, Rachette, Tool etc. 31 years on this earth and I never fired a gun. If I'm survive in a post apocalyptic world I need to be a skilled shooter...or at the very least, fire a real gun once.
The first thing I learned is that real guns are LOUD! I mean, we all wore headphones to muffle the noise but that shit was still loud! I don't understand how do people get away with shooting someone else when the blast of a gun is that loud?? If I'm a criminal, I'm investing in a silencer. Wordup.
All of the guns we fired had major kick backs, it was something I was prepared for but some were more powerful then others. I don't remember the types of guns I was shooting but this one hunting rifle beat the shit out of me! Each shot was like getting kicked in the shoulder by a horse 1000 times. It was really uncomfortable.
The bullets we were shooting were pretty sick but they were a pain in the ass to load. I was terrible at it. By the time I loaded 3 bullets into a clip, my buddy had a full one ready to go. I told him he could be my personal bullet loader. If this had been a war like situation I'd probably end up dead.
can you imagine having a bunch of these lodged in your chest or stomach???
Ultimately, I was very disappointed in my shooting accuracy but this was my first time ever shooting a gun so I'll give myself a pass. It's not like shooting a gun on TV... and no I didn't bust off 'sideways'. You can't just point and click 'cuz you'll never hit anything. You'll look Harry from Dumb and Dumber when he tries to save Llyod from the kidnapper, shooting everything in the hotel room except the bad guy. "How come I didn't get a gun??" I telling you the kickback is intense. You gotta readjust after each shot if you want to kill someone. It's all about breath control.
Get prepared!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Got wood???
OMG!! Treeman!!! this guy is fucked! The news guy says an American doctor can help treeman with some vitamin A??? Treeman dont need vitamin A, he needs a mexican with a weed wacker!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
New World Water
Great news Plan "B" readers!!! I'm proud to report that my hole has been filled!!! uhhh...my TV hole that is...
In my previous blog I railed against Craig Kilborns hacky comedy show "The Kilborn File"{see below}. I was outraged when FOX replaced my beloved Simpsons re-runs with this poor excuse of a comedy talk show. I called on all Plan "B" followers to go to The Kilborn File's website and blast the message board with negative comments in hopes that it would get the show canceled. Well folks...WE DID IT!! And when I say 'WE', I mean 'ME', because NONE of you rallied to my call! WTF people!? I thought we were fighting the power together!? Like a team! You know, T.E.A.M: Together Everyone Achieves More! Grrr!
So, I can sit here and pat myself on the back for single handedly taking down Craig Kilborn's show. It's clear to me now that the Plan "B" blog is bigger then ever and is obviously being read by high level network executives. Note to Executives: if you're reading this I'm currently working on a script for a buddy comedy about 2 flaming gay police officers called HOMOcide. Call me!
NWO ALRET!!!
I came upon a disturbing video recently about how NWO lackeys think putting Lithium in the drinking supply is a good thing! "oh, come on Plan "B" Lithium? Now you're just talking crazy."
Everyone knows that the government has been putting fluoride in the drinking supply for decades. Nobody seems to mind. "It's good for your teeth!" Sure, fluoride helps fight tooth decay but fluoride exposure also causes damage to the brain and kidneys, lowers IQ and make subjects (animal/human) docile. Did you know, in world war II the Nazis used sodium fluoride on their POWs to make them dumb and submissive?? The government's been putting that same shit in our water since 1945! The NWO wants the population to be dumb and submissive so nobody questions their agenda.
I gotta hand it to these globalist scum, they're pretty smart. I mean, delivering a dangerous chemical to people on a daily basis that over time makes them dumb and passive...that's brilliant!
If that's not bad enough, now they want to add Lithium to the tap water! These guy are NOT playing!!
I wanna punch this guy right in his face! A crushing left hook to the jaw will correct that gay lisp he speaks with...like Chip Douglas in Cable Guy...ou know what I'm talking about.
I love this guy's whole attitude about drugging the water supply, like its no big deal. "Drink some Lithium water so you don't commit suicide!" I'm all for taking drugs and getting fucked up but this is ridiculous. If I wanna put some harmful chemicals into my body I gotta guy I can call for that, I dont need Big Brother spiking my punch!
Maybe I'll send a few gallons of Lithium water to Craig Kilborn, he's probably on suicide watch....
Plan "B" out!!!
In my previous blog I railed against Craig Kilborns hacky comedy show "The Kilborn File"{see below}. I was outraged when FOX replaced my beloved Simpsons re-runs with this poor excuse of a comedy talk show. I called on all Plan "B" followers to go to The Kilborn File's website and blast the message board with negative comments in hopes that it would get the show canceled. Well folks...WE DID IT!! And when I say 'WE', I mean 'ME', because NONE of you rallied to my call! WTF people!? I thought we were fighting the power together!? Like a team! You know, T.E.A.M: Together Everyone Achieves More! Grrr!
So, I can sit here and pat myself on the back for single handedly taking down Craig Kilborn's show. It's clear to me now that the Plan "B" blog is bigger then ever and is obviously being read by high level network executives. Note to Executives: if you're reading this I'm currently working on a script for a buddy comedy about 2 flaming gay police officers called HOMOcide. Call me!
NWO ALRET!!!
I came upon a disturbing video recently about how NWO lackeys think putting Lithium in the drinking supply is a good thing! "oh, come on Plan "B" Lithium? Now you're just talking crazy."
Everyone knows that the government has been putting fluoride in the drinking supply for decades. Nobody seems to mind. "It's good for your teeth!" Sure, fluoride helps fight tooth decay but fluoride exposure also causes damage to the brain and kidneys, lowers IQ and make subjects (animal/human) docile. Did you know, in world war II the Nazis used sodium fluoride on their POWs to make them dumb and submissive?? The government's been putting that same shit in our water since 1945! The NWO wants the population to be dumb and submissive so nobody questions their agenda.
I gotta hand it to these globalist scum, they're pretty smart. I mean, delivering a dangerous chemical to people on a daily basis that over time makes them dumb and passive...that's brilliant!
If that's not bad enough, now they want to add Lithium to the tap water! These guy are NOT playing!!
I wanna punch this guy right in his face! A crushing left hook to the jaw will correct that gay lisp he speaks with...like Chip Douglas in Cable Guy...ou know what I'm talking about.
I love this guy's whole attitude about drugging the water supply, like its no big deal. "Drink some Lithium water so you don't commit suicide!" I'm all for taking drugs and getting fucked up but this is ridiculous. If I wanna put some harmful chemicals into my body I gotta guy I can call for that, I dont need Big Brother spiking my punch!
Maybe I'll send a few gallons of Lithium water to Craig Kilborn, he's probably on suicide watch....
Plan "B" out!!!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
DADDY'S HOME!!
Plan "B" is back folks! It's been a long time... I'm sorry I left you... without another dope blog to step to...
I'm glad to be back blogging! I feel like there's been so much going on in my life and in the world that I could have blogged about!! Oil spills, internet censorship, big brother expansion, out of control media, racism!! Not to mention adventures with my piece of shit car!! Sooo much material. Fact of the matter is I've been trying to land a job. Surprisingly, being a rebel doesn't come with health insurance. At the time, some people felt that the opinions and humor in my blogs weren't very 'professional' and that it'd be wise for me to take the blog down until I landed a job. I reluctantly agreed because hey, if there's anyone who knows about how internet content can get you into trouble with employers....its me!!!
So now I'm back! I didn't get that job but that's their loss. For the record, people who join social networking sites like facebook etc with the intention of gathering personal information on people and using that information against them is PATHETIC. I know there's a few stalking type haters reading this blog on the regular, you know who you are... GET OFF PLAN "Bs" DICK!
Now that we've got that out of the way lets talk about some business. Recently, I began a crusade against the new Craig Kilborn talk show, The Kilborn File. I hate this show with a passion! Not because Kilborn is a hack and the jokes are lame, but because it took over the 7pm time slot on FOX. That time slot has been held down by Simpsons re-runs for what feels like decades and was the heart of my evening TV lineup. 6:30 TMZ, 7 Simpsons, 7:30 Office. It was a beautiful thing! All of the sudden, FOX decides to throw this 30 minute comedy turd in the mix and ruins everything! Now I'm wandering the dial looking for a solid 7pm replacement show and all I'm left with is Jeopardy. Don't get me wrong, I love Jeopardy but when they put up categories like '19th century British Authors' I'm changing the channel.
Damn you Kilborn and your hacky half hour! What talk show is a half hour?? When you add in commercial time the show only ends up being like 15 minutes. And he struggles to get through that! This show is the comedy equivalent to a stillborn baby... and just like a stillborn baby this show needs to be flushed down the toilet. In order to get the flushing process moving I've been bombarding The Kilborn File message board with all kinds of harsh critiques. I like to get in 2 or 3 comments a day, I've got some spare time. The moderator is always refreshing the page so a lot of the comments get deleted but that only fuels my fire! My endgame is to get the show canceled and my contingency plan is have it pushed to a different time slot. I encourage all Plan "B" readers to join my crusade by going to www.thekilbornfile.com and leaving a hilariously rude message for good old "Kilby". Tell em Plan "B" sent chya!
I'm glad to be back blogging! I feel like there's been so much going on in my life and in the world that I could have blogged about!! Oil spills, internet censorship, big brother expansion, out of control media, racism!! Not to mention adventures with my piece of shit car!! Sooo much material. Fact of the matter is I've been trying to land a job. Surprisingly, being a rebel doesn't come with health insurance. At the time, some people felt that the opinions and humor in my blogs weren't very 'professional' and that it'd be wise for me to take the blog down until I landed a job. I reluctantly agreed because hey, if there's anyone who knows about how internet content can get you into trouble with employers....its me!!!
So now I'm back! I didn't get that job but that's their loss. For the record, people who join social networking sites like facebook etc with the intention of gathering personal information on people and using that information against them is PATHETIC. I know there's a few stalking type haters reading this blog on the regular, you know who you are... GET OFF PLAN "Bs" DICK!
Now that we've got that out of the way lets talk about some business. Recently, I began a crusade against the new Craig Kilborn talk show, The Kilborn File. I hate this show with a passion! Not because Kilborn is a hack and the jokes are lame, but because it took over the 7pm time slot on FOX. That time slot has been held down by Simpsons re-runs for what feels like decades and was the heart of my evening TV lineup. 6:30 TMZ, 7 Simpsons, 7:30 Office. It was a beautiful thing! All of the sudden, FOX decides to throw this 30 minute comedy turd in the mix and ruins everything! Now I'm wandering the dial looking for a solid 7pm replacement show and all I'm left with is Jeopardy. Don't get me wrong, I love Jeopardy but when they put up categories like '19th century British Authors' I'm changing the channel.
Damn you Kilborn and your hacky half hour! What talk show is a half hour?? When you add in commercial time the show only ends up being like 15 minutes. And he struggles to get through that! This show is the comedy equivalent to a stillborn baby... and just like a stillborn baby this show needs to be flushed down the toilet. In order to get the flushing process moving I've been bombarding The Kilborn File message board with all kinds of harsh critiques. I like to get in 2 or 3 comments a day, I've got some spare time. The moderator is always refreshing the page so a lot of the comments get deleted but that only fuels my fire! My endgame is to get the show canceled and my contingency plan is have it pushed to a different time slot. I encourage all Plan "B" readers to join my crusade by going to www.thekilbornfile.com and leaving a hilariously rude message for good old "Kilby". Tell em Plan "B" sent chya!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
